Long Lost Family

One of the better programmes on television is Long Lost Family. This is where children and parents who were separated soon after birth, and either the children, or the parents, years later, go on a quest to find each other. There are a number of reasons why they search each other out. But at the heart of it all, it would seem that the child just wants to know why they were given up by their mum or dad. Were they rejected, not thought worthy of keeping? From the parent’s perspective, they wonder what became of their son or daughter. Did they have a good life? Did their adoptive parents love them and treat them well? Are they still alive and happy? Did they marry and have a family? All these and more are the many questions that fill their thoughts.

At the very core of all their wonderings is this dominant thought – did they love me? Did it hurt them to give me away? Or, if I find my child will they reject me and be bitter and resentful towards me?  Being loved and wanted is such an important part of our lives. Actual rejection, or perceived rejection, is terribly painful, and its effects can last a lifetime. Thankfully, many, though not all, true-life stories in Long Lost Family have a happy ending.

The Bible speaks into this. Psalm 68:6 “God sets the solitary in families…” To be loved and wanted is a fundamental need in our lives. We function better when someone loves us and wants to share their life with us.  However, not everyone is in that happy position. There are those who feel keenly the rejection they suffered. Sometimes it makes them feel inferior, less of a person in their own right. The image they have of themselves can be negative. They may never know why they were given up. They may never find the real reason behind their birth-parent’s decision to give them away. Sometimes this leads to hurtful and self-harming traits, and forever left to ponder the question, ‘Why me?’ The Bible speaks into this also. Isaiah49:15 “Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.” Psalm 27:10 (NLT) “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

I find it intriguing that one of the last things Jesus did on the cross before He died, was to hand His mother over to the care and safe-keeping of His beloved disciple John. I have always wondered why did He not hand her over to one of His own brothers or sisters? (He had several of them Acts 1:12-14 & Mt.13:55-56) John wasn’t her son, but Jesus felt it necessary to give His mother over to him instead. However, what we do know is John lived to be a very old man. He outlasted all his contemporaries. We have no knowledge how long Mary lived after Jesus died, but however long it was, John would be right there by her side. In a sense, it would be like John adopted a mother and Mary adopted a son. Jesus knew they would be the perfect combination. 

- Pastor David Goudy